Category Archives: Uncategorized

Apr 18 2013
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Uncategorized

Disappointed

This morning I woke up to find disappointment waiting for me. The details are unimportant. What matters is that in my first moments of waking consciousness I discovered a situation that stirred up dark emotions and thoughts lurking deep within my soul. In the end I was more disturbed by my response than by the situation that caused it.

The short, sanitized version is that something didn’t work out the way I planned.

In the hours since, I have wrestled with my feelings and ideas. My first inclination was an attitude of indignation. “Don’t they know who I am?”, I said to myself.  “I deserve better than this.”, I thought. “They owe me.”

Then the Lord spoke. “Am I not the giver of all things?”, he said. “Am I not the one who numbers the hairs on your head?”. “Is that a bald joke?” I asked.

He dug deeper.

“What are you afraid of?” asked the Lord.

That question brought the high euphoria of my indignation crashing down. Suddenly, the force of my emotion turned away from the one who did not meet my expectation. I saw the frailty of my heart. “I’m afraid that my plans will not work out.” I responded to the ever listening Lord. “What do your plans have to do with anything?” the Lord replied. Then he reminded me of words that have corrected and encouraged the people of God for thousands of years:

21  Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

I reflected on these 21 words. The Lord is so right. I have many plans. When they don’t work out the way I imagine, I often react in fear and anger. Why? I’m not exactly sure, but I think it has something to do with my memory.

I easily forget my place in the kingdom. I am not the King. I am a servant. I am a creation made to serve “the purpose of the Lord”. He reminded me today that His purpose will stand. He will succeed. My plans are irrelevant and small in the scheme of things.

I also forget his faithfulness. When I follow Jesus I have no reason to despair. I have no reason to become angry or fearful when my circumstances fail to conform to my particular version of the future. He is the Lord who is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is the Lord who promised to give Abraham a son and did. He is the one who heard the cries of his people and rescued them out of Egypt. He is the one who sent his one and only son to die and to overcome death. He is the one who shows up again and again in my story. He is always faithful and right on time.

Finally, I forget that his Kingdom is coming and nothing can stop it. I have this image of the Kingdom coming like a forty-foot wave in Cape Town. I’m like the surfer who ludicrously paddles against the force of the swell. I’m struggling because I haven’t learned to ride the wave. I’m trying to go my way with my own ideas under my power. The Lord says “stop struggling and follow me.” “I will make a way where there seems to be no way”. “I will carry out the things I have set out to do.” “Rest and trust me.”

The weight of disappointment nearly crushed my spirit this morning. Now I receive it as from the Lord and I give thanks. Thank you God for disabling my impulse to control. Thank you Lord for giving me deeper faith in the place of fear. Thank you Lord for this disappointment which reminded me of your great faithfulness.

He is the Lord God Almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth. He turns the night into day, death into life and my disappointment into thanksgiving. Great is the name of the Lord!

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Apr 17 2013
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Dancing with Fuzzy Pig

My daughter is 6. The middle shelf in her closet is home to at least 30 stuffed animals. For the most part it is a community of equals. These friends are equally loved and ignored. Except for one – Fuzzy Pig.

Fuzzy Pig is one of a kind.

Of course like most toys he was born in a Chinese factory. In the mind of the toy-maker who first drew his form and then contracted to have him mass produced, Fuzzy Pig was a commodity to be made and sold. He was fashioned by uncaring, unthinking machines designed for that purpose and then probably stuffed with a thousand twin brothers in a shipping crate bound for Wal-mart.  In the story of his birth he is remarkably, unremarkable.

For the first few months after immigrating to America, Fuzzy Pig continued in an ordinary existence of sitting and waiting. He was one of a million products lining the shelves of a big-box store waiting to be claimed and used for a purpose.

Unbeknownst to him, Fuzzy Pig’s journey towards purpose began when my younger brother Stace heard that my wife was pregnantl. The family planned a baby shower and Fuzzy Pig emerged from a pink and white gift bag with a note that said, “To Madeline, Love Stace and Jennifer”. Fuzzy Pig became a Smith that day.

Several months later Madeline made her grand entrance into the world. On her first night home after one or two in the hospital she met Fuzzy Pig for the very first time. It was love at first sight. Ok, well maybe Fuzzy Pig loved Madeline first, but his love would soon be reciprocated in marvelous style. Soon Madeline couldn’t even sleep until Fuzzy Pig was safe and sound in the crib with her. In fact, she required his presence nearly twenty-four hours a day. If she played on the floor, Fuzzy Pig played too. If she rode in the car, Fuzzy Pig rode with her. This small pink and white creature soon became an indispensable member of the Smith clan.

As Madeline grew, so did Fuzzy Pig. As she learned to crawl and then walk, Fuzzy Pig also gained the ability to get around. He became an expert at driving Barbie cars, living in doll houses and eating every meal in the high chair. When Madeline began to utter her first words, Fuzzy Pig miraculously spoke with the slight twang of a young Southern Bell.

When Madeline was around 3 years old she learned to dance. She would dance to any music within earshot, but her favorite was Sugarland’s “Stuck Like Glue”. She would twirl, pirouette and fly around the room like a tiny ballerina. Every space was transformed into a stage and her Mom and I the perpetual audience. As it turned out, Fuzzy Pig was quite the dancing partner. He even did somersaults up to the ceiling and back again.

Fuzzy Pig has many roles. He is comforter, confidant, best friend who always listens, and dancing partner extraordinaire.

For me Fuzzy Pig is also a professor. His prolific imagination and unconditional love for Madeline has inspired me to look at life through sewn up, button on eyes. Through the Fuzz I have learned to love life and to take every opportunity to dance with your favorite person.

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